How many blonde's does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to hold the ladder and one to peel the carrotts

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue A Face Like Yours Belongs In The ZOO. :o

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a black person at a 7-11? A customer.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can’t talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it’s a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did one potato say to the other. Let's get baked!( hope u dont mind that this isnt a anti-joke well i dont know what it is so sue me)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a pancake? They both taste good with jam

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I can't remember if I have Azheimer's or not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what rhymes with pirates? not Somalia because i don't consider a inflatable boat a pirate ship.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

who hooks up with grade 7's? •Jake Muchnik

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's round and red? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than dropping your ice cream cone? Man's inhumanity to man.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Little Billy crying? He had an axe embedded in his chest.

thumb_up thumb_down

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back distinctly better at the Trumpet.

thumb_up thumb_down

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

thumb_up thumb_down

Two Jews walk into a bar, and they were both served properly

thumb_up thumb_down

When life hands you lemons, Squeeze them in the eyes of children

thumb_up thumb_down

YOUR MOM HAS A DICK IN HER ASSCHEEKS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down

Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What is the likely outcome of anyone who watches 'WWE'? A: They will lose their virginity to a hooker.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops