Why was Adolf Hitler such a bad man? Because he never kissed his wife goodbye.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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what does a pickle and a computer have in common? ... they both have a mouse.

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What's the diffrence between one black guy and another black guy. One of them has Aids.

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Did you hear about the boy who got an AM radio? It took him a month to realize that he can play it at night too.

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How do you kill yourself You jump of a cliff

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Is it a sin to love math? Cos I don't. I'm radical about it.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, "Oh...Well, that's not so bad. At least I don't have AIDS."

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When I was a kid, I had a clown at my birthday party. He molested me. Later I found out the clown was my dad.

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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:O + :P = 69

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I can tell by your accent.

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Q: Why didnt the irishman walk out of the bar? A: He died of severe alchoholism and had a heart attack and died istantly

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A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it's face.

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I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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