knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock knock zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz knock kock ding dong ding di-ding dong zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz sigh weeeeeeeeeewooooooooooooooooo zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz hey yo wake up zzz-oh-huh-what-whos there i've been yelling for like five minutes oh sorry jim will you let me in already all right

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Siblings are like sharks, they usually stop biting you when you stab them in the eyes

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What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Knock knock Who's there? It's me, Dave. You still wanna go to the movies? Oh, yeah...let me grab my wallet.

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3 Mormon men walk by a blonde woman eating a banana. They are not distracted by this and continue their journey of spreading Christianity.

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Do you know whats not funny black jokes that arent racist. You belendo!!!

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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1234 5

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a hand grenade at you? Run.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Camero? - The Camero isn't in my garage.

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Three men walk into a bar, they are promptly served and then they go home. Later that evening the bartender closes the bar and goes upstairs to his apartment where he is struggling with his debt... Business hasn't been as good these days.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs Because I pushed him

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roses are red violets are blue i dont give a damn how bout you

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Two dogs walk into a room. What a fine example of two dogs walking into a room.

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Women's rights.

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What did the dog say to the human. "Woof."

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Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and a man? Nothing. I was lying about their being a difference.

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops