What does a farmer say when he can't find his tractor? - Where's my tractor?

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What do dead people think when they die? Nothing,they're dead.

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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what is big and white? the moon

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Q: Whats Brown and sticky A: an eagle except for the brown and sticky part

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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involved parents.

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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So a Jewish, Hispanic, and Asian man are on a plane. The pilot turns to them and says "aren't you tired of this?"

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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What's black, white, has green stripes and smells like eggs? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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