What's the worst part about being drunk? Your child.

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then he sits down to enjoy his evening.

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-What did the snake say to the mouse? Nothing. Animals can't talk dumbass.

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There was a man on a park bench and he saw a duck fly by so he decided to go and see what it was up to. He saw that it was just going for a swim in a near by pond. He died 2 years ago of auto erotic asphyxiation because of a common fetish.

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¿melano?

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involved parents.

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What's a fail with a bowl on its head, a 30 year old, and a 5 year old at the same time? Justin Beiber

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why did the nazi eat the jew? He didn't

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What's the same about eggnog and a computer? You can search the web. Except that's only true for one of them.

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Q: What happens when you hit a man with a car? A: You speed away hoping no one saw, you spend the next month and a half agonizing over your crime as it consumes you because you think of the poor man's family, then you either go to prison or hang yourself from a fan all because you wanted road dome....

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See now that is confident and down to earth, reasonable, and all the etc etc`s, so what would you like me to fill them in with? Joking aside, you are smart, funny, you take a beating (sorry that`s today`s new low point, I have never hit a woman and never will, sure I punched down the GigaLesb when she lifted me up and my spine started making cracking noises, but that does not technically count as a woman). You are sweet, you are cute, you are funny, you are hot hot hot (hattrick see?), and yeah yeah if you want me to prove to people here that we know each other, sure, I met you once like 15 years ago? You kinda adored me, I could not take my eyes of yours (oh yeah, you got adorable eyes sure), and... You got huge breasts (Tits are more like those hanging you know what I mean) Sigh sometimes a boy wonders what he is doing with his life, he falls for the strangest girls... ...AND THEN SAID BOY FINDS HIMSELF BROKEN IN TWINE BY ME!

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What's the best thing about 27 year old's? There are 20 of them.

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im a straight dude and all the gay dudes at school make fun of me oh wait i wrote that backwards

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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this is the part where we na na na na every good song needs a na na na na wake up at night screaming na na na na my grandmothers nickname is nana

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A kangaroo walks into a bar, it is a fairly common occurrence in Australia and normal process is carried out of evacuating the premises and calling animal control to deal with the situation.

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What did the man say when he saw a truck in his yard? There's a truck in my yard.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 killed 9.

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roses are red , violets are blue , sugar is sweet and so are you. the roses are wilting the violets are dead. the sugar bowl is empty and so is your head

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=341666429240797&set=a.102107073196735.4429.102099916530784&type=1&theater

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whats is big, black, and has big boobs. a big black guy. the boob part was a little white lie

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What did the banana say to the other banana? We're both marshmallows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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