How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

selena gomez & justin beiber go in space. selena says im hotter than the sun. the way she knows this information is that she is near the sun at this time justin beiber has already drifted of in space.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

so theres this big moose, and it walks into a convenience store and asks the lady bitch "where are the potatoes?" and she says "ehh, down aisle 5" so he goes down isle five, and there aint no potatoes

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why was the school field trip cancelled? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

sometimes josh roberts sees how many things he can get in his bumhole befor is starts to bleed.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? It isn't doing anything, sir. It's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.....

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Whats worse than finding a black man in your bed? After you sleep with him, he tells you he has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

who farted your mother

thumb_up thumb_down -26

what do you call a guy that has a mouth, but cannot speak? a poor freshman who has been commanded by a Senior not to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q. who's george porchy?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why does the sultan of Turkey wear red suspenders? So that his pants wouldn't fall down.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

poop

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Hey look! Where? Above you, get the rebound.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A man walks into a store and says "Roses are red, Violets are blue, there is a bomb strapped to my chest, give me all the money"

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What do you call 10,000 black men with their heads sticking out of the ground? Afro-turf

thumb_up thumb_down -36

How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

thumb_up thumb_down -42

*knock knock "there's a door bell"

thumb_up thumb_down +69

knock knock who's there? a murder who? a murder who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops