Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Refrigerators come in an assortment of colors

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Two cows are in a field one cow says moo the other cow say shit thats what i was gonna say

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What do you get when you cross a zebra and a panda? Well, pandas are almost extinct. I guess they gave up and started goin' with zebras.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, And I'm blind.

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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How do you stop the skunk from smelling, you rip it in half and bury the body therefore stopping the smells from escaping.

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Why is it called a tea kettle Because it is a kettle and you make tea in it

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"Have you ever seen a blacksmith?" "No." "Me neither."

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Diarrhea

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involved parents.

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What's worse than your dad being hit by a car? Your family being hit by a bus.

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What did the pear say to the plum? Nobody knows - the plum was deaf and didn't hear, the pear knows only dirty words in sign language, and there was nobody else around to overhear.

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Your mother is so unintelligent that her IQ score is equal to or lower than 2 standard deviations below the national average of 100 on the Mensa approved intelligence test that has been properly administered and supervised.

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Q: What's big, brown, and smell like crap? A: Turd.

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knock knock who's there?

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two blondes walk into a bar... to get to the other side

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Why did I put the baby into the blender feet first? So I could see its facial expression

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Why did Superman stop collecting stones? Did he ever? Moral: Yes but his kryptonite collection seemed to slow him down at times... until he stopped...

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What has two legs, but cant walk? Steven Hawking

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What's worse then finding a finger in your Chili? Getting Mollested by a Pterodactyl.

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Bob:well Joe, its been tough latley, I hats my life Joe: I don't give a tuck, ur retarded, you have never had any friends and I am sure that the school will have a pep fest when u hang ur self in ur bedroom. So go now! I don't know why u even r talking to me and I don't know why I am responding

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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