Whats hotter than a sunny day. A pot of boiling water.

What do you call a black man working for Bank of America? A successful individual.

What smells like peanut butter but looks like a penis? A penis, I lied about the peanut butter.

Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

What do you call a mexican riding a lawnmower? Promoted

Chuck Norris can bench 210 pounds.

Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee. There are no humans, at all, anywhere in the world, who do not like Sarah Lee. None. Not even one. They do not exist in reality. Everyone likes Sarah Lee. Everyone.

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? .......................................................................................................................................... SEVEN EIGHT NINE!!!!!

Ask me if i'm a tree... "Are you a tree?".... No

Person 1: What did the narwhal say to the other narwhal. Person 2: I don't know... What? Person 1: How am I supposed to know? Shortly after a serious argument breaks out.

what do a jew homosexual and a latino all have in common? human dignity.

What has wings, is bald, and can't fly? A bald eagle. I lied about the part where it can't fly.

An Asian gets into her car to drive to her grandmother's house. She arrives at 6:30 and has a wonderful dinner.

How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

wanna hear a joke? not really

Knock, knock. Who's there? Suzie. How is that even possible?

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says "Why the long face?" The horse, being unable to understand the barman, breaks a table and shits on the floor.

Dave: Hey, Doug! How was your day? Doug: My mother is dead.

Why did the zombie go to school? Zombies do not exist and certainly do not go to school.

what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

how many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? there are no babies they are all dead in my garage

The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

Why did the Spice Girls stop performing? They mutually agreed to stop performing.

Your mama so fat she is physically larger than other people.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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