How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff? Because after twenty long years of monotonous nagging, he finally snapped.

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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What did the white man say to the muslim? Hi

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Why could the red-haired boy sing higher notes than the blonde-haired boy? He was castrated at birth.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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There were two muffins in an oven one muffin said, "Is it hot in here or is it just me?" the other muffin said, "AHHH A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did the lion go to the doctor? He was hungry for man flesh. -John R-

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Q: How do you get a one armed blond of of a tree? A: You grab a ladder and help her down safely.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have ADHD, Oh look a butterfly...

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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Steve,Jerry and tom all go into the mens toilets, because they are men.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

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Matt Damon

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Two Haitians walk into a bar and it collapses

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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