Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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democracy

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have a gun, get in the van

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women outside of the kitchen

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A Tatooine moisture farmer, an old man, an astromech droid, and a potocol droid walk into a cantina at Mos Eisley Space Port. The bartender says, "Hey, we don't serve their kind here! Your droids will have to wait outside." The moisture farmer then says to his droids, "Why don't you wait out by the speeder, we don't want any trouble." The protocol droid replies, "I heartily agree, sir."

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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What's the cutest thing about a redhead? I know, I couldnt think of anything either

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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THere was three bees eating Honeynut cherrios one of them had a speech impediment.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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Your mom is so old so will die soon.

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asian drivers.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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The cow went moo

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Whats worse than finding a jew in your bed. Jake skellern

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was in my sandwich and i'm late for class.

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John: Hey Bill, ORANGE you in the mood to go to a Phillies game? Bill: Yes! So let's make like a banana and raise our potassium levels drastically and leave right away to beat the rush hour traffic.

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A horse walked into a bar. Animal control was immediately called and the horse was returned to it's original owner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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