what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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what long hard and in a tight hole? a penis in a vagina

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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theres a mexican, an asian, and an american in a plane, they're about to crash, so they all have to throw out something they have a lot of in their country. The Mexican throws out beans, and says "I have to many of these in my country." The Asian throws out rice and says "i have to many of these in my country." The American throws out the Mexican and says "I have to many of these in my country."

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What do you say when Obama gets shot? Some finaly had enough balls to shoot a black person. N.P.P.

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Knock knock What

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Anti-Jokes is addicting, you know what else is addicting? Heroine.

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Q: Your arms are tied and bleeding from your face, a bull is charging at you, a catapult launches a bunch of rottweilers with rabies straight at your face, a nuclear bomb right next to you is five seconds from exploding, and my teleportation device ia right next to you, what do you do? A: You start by getting your own damn teleportation device! The hell ill let you bleed on mine!

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A Blonde, a Jew, a Rooster, and a Mexican walk into a bar and the bartender says, "What is this? Some kind of joke?"

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Pickup line: Hey do you like flowers? Because you stole my flowers.

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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Why doesn't Bella like airplanes? Because her family crashed in one....

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why did the child go to hospital with 52 broken bones,lung and kidney failure,heart disease and cut off penis. because his mum threw a fridge at mikeanator_27

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running from its imminent death. It was being chased by a dog with a shark's head and chainsaws for legs. It was only delaying the inevitable.

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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The Bible

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other... Uh oh. A car just ran it over.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

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What three letters alter boys into men and girls into women? The letter containing their bank card, the letter containing their national insurance card and the letter accepting them into a job or higher education placement.

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Why do dogs lick their balls? Why? Because they can.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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