Whats worse that a rhino hitting you in the face? A rhino with horns hitting you in the face

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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100% of smokers die 100% of people die I am tied to a tree

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Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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Did I tell you about the day I put PaulMckenna on a hypnotic state so he believed he put me in a trance? That was fun, everybody applauded, then he got sad when it was not him they where applauding at, funny guy, a bit of an amateur, he spends hours "priming" people in a hypnotic state, and then in his videos triggers it so it makes it seem like he does it instantly, next to Igor Ledohowsky and Richard Bandler, I might just be one of the best and youngest hypnotists alive. Speaking of which, my wife knows the complicated yet strong feelings I got for you, and feels safe around me because of the same reasons you do, and the fact that I can spot a worry and a tear before people do, especially those I love and care about. Wait I am not done, I just need to eat before I space out.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I am a dog

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Q: I have 2 dogs. Why? A: I like dogs

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where are you?

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house red. Babies, especially dead ones cannot paint.

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Your mama is so ugly that she tried out for America's Next Top Model and did not get in.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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Q: what did 7 say to 11? A: weres every one else?

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What do you a call a guy on steroids? A Body Builder

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't.

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What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

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So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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What happened to boy who fell down the stairs? He died. What happened to the girl who fell down the same stairs? The boy who fell down the stairs hit her down the stairs too and they both died What happened to the man fell down these very same stairs? He got peer pressure and committed suicide.

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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