What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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A seal walks into a club and gets hammered.

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A hat fell into the Indian Ocean. What happened to the hat? It got wet

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What did you say? I don't know.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I can tell by your accent.

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Q:Why did the booger cross the street? A:Because everyone was picking on him

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this sentence will not monkey banana pie

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Why didn't the blonde go to the party? Her depression finally got the best of her and she shot herself

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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what happened to the autistic child that traveled to antarctica? he died.

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What did the baby say to its mother after breastfeeding? Nothing

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What did the squirrel say to the owl? Nothing, because owls and squirrels don't talk, but the owl ate the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman.

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A black man walks into a bar with a parot on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey you can't bring that in here!" The Parot replies "Sorry i'll have him wait outside."

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68 :)

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, every time I drink coffee, my eye hurts". The Doctor then tells him, "You have an infection called conjunctivitis, also known as pinkeye"

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other birds had taken hostage the chickens family.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Im Really Stoned And you have met with a terrible fate haven't you?

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Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam? To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

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Womens' rights.

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There once was a rose that was red Violets are blue Knock Know who's there? Man I gotta quit huffing glue

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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