What looks like a dick? A penis

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Womens rights

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A man walks into a bar. He pulls out a knife, shoots the bar tender, and then kills himself.

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What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

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What do a dog and a tree have in common? BARK!

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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What do you call a man that goes to work every day to provide for his family? A spoon

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the real mccoy

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What did the umpire yell to the flatulent player at bat? FOUL BOWEL!

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Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? He was hit by a bus.

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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What is smelly and sticky A poo

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Why were the police chasing the black man? Because he was in such a poor financial state that the bank foreclosed his house and now he has no source of income and therefore no way to purchase basic living requirements, so he was forced to steal in order to provide food for his family.

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Why was Jimmy so upset? Because both of his parents died.

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What did the little boy do when he dropped his ice cream? Acted very mature and requested another one from his mother

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Your Momma's So fat, that she is quite unhealthy, and she should stop spending her life savings at fast food restaurants. Probably should stop drinking pop as well.

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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Pickup line: Boy: Hey, do you have a library card? Girl: Yes

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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Two unemployed Irishmen are out looking for work when they pass a lumberyard. There's a sign outside that said "Tree Fellers Wanted". Sean turns to Patrick and says " What a curious way to write that sign. Surely the term is lumberjack?" "Yes," says Patrick "but what with the current economic situation here in Ireland, I say we get in there, apply for the jobs and hope that our lack of experience is overlooked." "Okay." Says Sean. "And let's not mention the whole sign thing." "No."

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What happened to the guy that stuck his finger up his asshole? It felt GOOOOOOODD

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lyren is a big meanyhead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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