There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

Why don't Mexicans sneak back across the border? Because there are more opportunities and free stuff here. Why would they want to leave, especially at the risk of getting caught for crossing in a sneaky fashion?

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

Why is Justin Bieber gay? He prefers the companionship of homosexual relationship to that of a heterosexual one.

Why do Italian people like pasta? Because it tastes good.

What did the one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers!!

Whats black and hangs from the my tree? A tire swing.

http://attachments.conceptart.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=351301&stc=1&d=1208673890

Roses are red voilets are blue,you are gay so fuck you,!

roses are black violets are too im colorblind how about you

a seal walks into a bar. replace "bar" with "club". and replace "walks into" with "gets bludgeon by."

whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

A dog walked into the forest and saw a whale in a puddle

Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob Who? Bob the human.........

Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

A dyslexic Irishman walks out of a bra.

Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

What was the biggest party of 2010? The Democrats.

What do you call a blonde girl with ponytails? A cheerleader.

What happen to the boy who poured water on his head? He got wet.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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