What's the difference between a red Ferrari and a pile of deal babies? The red Ferrari is not in my garage right now.

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A woman is walking down the street. A midget approaches her and with his keen sense of smell, informs the tall woman of her delicious scent and says, "Ma'am your hair smells lovely, may I please take a closer sniff?" Then woman obliges and the midget is arrested for alleged rape, or as he put it, trying to sniff her vagina.

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Q: What do you call a dyslexic Irish man with no legs? A: Handicapped

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Whats the worst part of having a Birthday on Feb. 29th? You only get facebook birthday wishes every 4 years.

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What did the kid use to smell his food His nose

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Whats Mary short for? Shes got no legs

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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Three blokes walk into a bar. I'm british.

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Why did Billy want cancer? So he could be like his parents.

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Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

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Jared Gough is a slut

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Q: Why was 2 afraid of 3? A: Cause 3 4 5!

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hello. We would like to talk about Jesus with you.

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Your time.

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if a green person is sitting on a green couch in his green room in his green house on his green lawn in his green town, what color is the sky? blue of course. while it is possibe to paint or make all things described in the above paragraph, you cannot paint the sky green because it is actually the color of light when the suns rays reflect on the water droplets within the ozone layer, thus forming the sky. the sky is not a tangible object, so therfore the paint would not be able to properly rest and dry onto the surface.

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What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

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Billy comes home from playing with his friend as he walks to his front yard he comes across his mother...she is dead on the floor his friend then says "im SO sorry your mom is dead but at least you still have your dad" Billy than replies "my mom is my dad" billy then is put into a foster home and spends years trying to recover from the fact that he is the freak offspring of a hermaphrodite

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Two girls walk into a bar. One ducks.

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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Frog-why did the chicken cross the road Chicken-dont judge me...

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your on a bus and you ask your math teacher if you got the answers on the homework right and the bus crashes in the middle of an intersection.

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knock knock who's there? i eat mop I eat mop who?

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no

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops