Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas ? Because sadly his father is an alcoholic and cant support him nor his family.

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One time i ate a hamberger than an hour later i sneezed but i dont think it had anything to do with the hamberger.

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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roses are red, violets? are blue, Im not good at poems, tits

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didnt have arms

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Why did the homeless man cross the road? The soup kitchen has just reopened after months of rebuilding from a fire. He was very hungry.

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What's green and has wheels? A bus. I lied about the green.

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Hey, you want to hear an anti-joke? yeah, sure. .....well, too bad!

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Snooki want smoosh smoosh

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How do you get an Irishman out of a bar? You politely ask him to leave.

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roses are red violets are blue i have deep vein thrombosis .... perpendicular albatross

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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what's better to a kid than ice cream from an ice cream truck? when you realize the driver was at your house 3 days ago notifying you that he is a convicted pedophile.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? handicapt

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar.... Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece? Man 1: Were the hell did you come from? Homo-sexual Panda: My mother's uterus same as you, retard.

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I'd type a joke about dicks but it's too long.

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Dead babies and disabled kids. Jews, mexicans and black people. Hitler and prostitutes. Sex sex sex sex sex.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A bike that his father paid for with the salary he made as an accountant at a local bank.

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What's the main reason for divorce? Marriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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