what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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I have two hands. Some people dont.

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What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

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whats worse then a paper cut, the holocaust, whats worse then the holocaust, two paper cuts

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Asians are ugly and they look they have down syndrome.

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Why did little Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. A. Knock, Knock! B. Who's There? Not Suzie.

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What did the doctor say to the patient? You have cancer.

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Why did Tommy get a wedgie? He was gay, and his parens were dead, so the school bully,decided to wedge his underwear up his butt.

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Doctor! Doctor! Can I have a second opinion? The Doctor then sits the patient down and tells them from a different perspective that they have terminal Cancer and will be dead by the end of the year.

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What do u call a gay guy with a long dik Dickgimme a lick

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antijokes

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Q: What do you do if A bunch Of black Guys Are raping a white Girl A: Throw A Basketball at them.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop? 124

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Good boy

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what's worse than finding a fat couple in a buffet?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had just been brutally raped by a lawnmower. The lawnmower had been hit by a car. The woman driving the car was suffering from Alzheimers disease. Which then escalated from the stress of the accident that she took her cat and ripped his right ass cheek then continued on with her day

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what do you call a gay bird a gaybird

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you wanna know hellen kellers favorite game? Marco Polo!

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Jesus was nailed to the cross by Roman guards... His disciples were kept behind a line of guards and they could not hear Jesus speak. They can see he was saying something, so they had to get closer to hear what he was saying. John dodged a guard and ran towards Jesus, but a guard cut his leg off with a sword... Peter ran for it and got past John but another guard cut off one of his legs... Matthew saw this opportunity to dodge both guards and jets past both John and Peter and gets to the foot of the cross... Jesus looks down at Matthew and says, "Matthew.... I can see your house from here!"

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Greg told a joke. It wasnt funny...

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I once heard what I consider the best joke ever: But I am not telling it to you, because this is a the anti-joke section. Moral: You better find the secret "real jokes section" because its there, yeeeeeess yeeeeeeeeees of coursehahahahaha!

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Patients: Whats happening doctor Doctor: I am afraid you all have tested positive Patients: Oh No!!! Doctor: Positive for being great friends all these years! Patients: Oh Doctor you are so.... Doctor: ASWELL AS AIDS!!!

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A man walks into a bar and takes his seat. After a minute, someone shouts "133!" and this is followed by a couple of slight chuckles around the room. Later, "57!" is heard from the corner, followed by harsh laughter. After a while, someone shouts "66!" which is met by an uproar of uncontrollable laughter. The man, confused by the evening's events, asks the barmam what is going on. The barman explains, every joke has been told countless times so instead of reciting them, they are numbered and people call out the numbers. The man catches on to this, and therefore shouts "453!" which is followed by a deadly silence, because no one had heard that particular joke before, so 453 was just a number to them.

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I'm gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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