A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

A blind guy was reading the newspaper, it said flying cars. I bet he did'nt see that coming!

Why do they censor everything on here? Because **** **** ******* *** ***** *****.

Q

how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 1027

why did the dog go inside the church? cuz the door was open.

*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

So a black and mexican go to the foodstore to get foodstamps.the end

Why did the 5 year-old go to the hospital? He had cancer

how do you wake lady gaga up? you punch-her-face

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

Hey, Texas! Knock knock Texas: Who's there? Ebola

Why did the penguin go to the cookie shop? He didn't, penguins don't eat cookies

friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

Roses are black. Violets are grey. I'm a dog...

What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

Q: Little black thing with a little red thing on it. What is it?! A: Ant with a broken nose...

Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

whats green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...