Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a blonde? A: One, if she tries to swallow it.

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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Every sixty seconds in Africa... a minute passes - plz like to save Africa!

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Me: Hello. You: Oh, hi. Me: How are you today? You: I'm fat.

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When does a blond laugh and cry? When she's raped by a clown.

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An Octopus walks into a bar and sees that there are multiple people with instruments. The man with the Guitar says "I bet you cant play the Guitar better than Led Zeplin?" So the Octopus plays and he is better than Led Zeplin. Then the man with the Piano says "I bet you can't play the piano better than Elton John?" So the Octopus Plays it better than Elton John. The Last man from Scotland says " i bet you can't plat the bagpipes better than me?" So... The Octopus is playing around with the Bagpipes and they say to him "Hurry Up!" and the Octopus says "Shut up, I'm trying to have sex with it but first I need to get it's pajamas off" (Bagpipes have 8 long things you blow into and they have a pattern that looks like a pajama pattern) hahaha

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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You're in a room with your friend, and you see some one being eaten by a monster. Who's getting eaten? No one, monsters aren't real.

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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That awkward when you adimaticlly read "moment in your head because you have seen too many of these awkward moment jokes.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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What's cooler than being cool? Being really cool

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A man walks into a bar. His friend follows him in, but the first man doesn't know he's there. They both order a beer, then a couple strong shots. The first man then notices his friend, and they exchange high-fives. The man's friend says, "Hey, how ya doin?" The first man says, "Okay, I guess, but I forgot the punchline." So the second man orders his friend the strongest drink, and the weakest. He replies, "Me too, Joe. Meeeeee, too."

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Well the chicken was very confused and had no logical brain power to think or know where it was going. Once he crossed the road he went into the ice cream parlor but was soon kicked out due to lack on communication

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and a black person? Ones fun to hit with a baseball bat, and ones a watermelon.

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how does a black woman find out if she is pregnant? she takes a pregnancy test

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Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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why did the man crash a plane into the twin towers? he was a clumsy terrorist going for the sears tower

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Woman's rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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