Knock Knock Who's there its me... we need to talk go away tod. i told you never to come back here babe, just open the door why? so you can beat me again? i said i was sorry! i just want to see my little girl... well maybe you should of been there for us! babe... i love you you lying son of a bitch... you dont deserve us open the damn door or i will beat it down im calling the cops YOU BETTER NOT BITCH! I WILL BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU! tod... please... get out come here no... NO! get the hell off of me!!!! HELP!! RAPE!! RAPE!!! SHUT UP WHORE (crying) please... please... ...mommy? SARAH! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! MOMMY LOVES YOU! ooh.. theres my little girl. you miss daddy? GET AWAY FROM HER!!! SHUT UP BITCH! come give daddy a hug what have you done to mommy? what you want some too? SARAH I SAID GET OUT THE HOUSE! GET HELP! ...mommy im scared... (sob) oh your crying? you want something to cry about? OH ILL GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT! .... you better get the hell out of here tod.. whoah... babe where did you get a gun GET OUT babe... put the gun down... relax NO YOU RELAX! all these years ive been raising this baby. without you. all by myself. and i dont want you in the picture now. ILL DO WHAT I DAMN WELL PLEASE ill see you in hell... (BANG) (BANG)

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What did the homeless kid get for Christmas? Hypothermia.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, " I forgot to store nuts for winter and now I am dead." Its funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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Guess What? What? Get in the van.

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why couldn't the one armed man juggle because it was snowing outside and his one room flat was to small

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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women have rights

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Why did Sara fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Robert supra not deep throwing kaleb law wrench

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whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

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What happens when you stab a black man? An equal race rights protest.

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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Why did Susie fall off the swing - because she had no arms Knock Knock Who is it Not Susie

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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