How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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WOMAN! I am not a sweetheart at the core, I am slightly sweet on the outside and really really dark and cruel on the inside, so I can trick people into loving me before I consume them! Anyway, sure, I will get to it, first thing when I wake up, like 8 hours from now okay? Moral: Seriously? Are you hoping to see a sweetheart at my core?

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why?

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Michael Hoffman leaves the gym

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was taken to a factory where it was butchered, processed and eventually fed to America.

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Curiosity killed the cat! No, the tire of a vehicle did.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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What's worse than 1,000 babies stapled to 1,000 trees? 1001 babies stapled to 1001 trees.

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The Game.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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how do you make a plummer cry? you kill his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its coop was on fire.

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what was hitlers rap album called? straight outta mein kampfton

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What did the muffin say to the oven? Obviously nothing since neither one can talk.

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What's ur favorite color? Cancer Made by mark

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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Roses are flowers Violets are flowers

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A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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hey what are you eating there? a giant scorpion that tried to rape me.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck would? Probably a lot of wood.

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Enchilada

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What do you say to a man who isnt funny You're not fuuny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops