The man with a long history of Alzheimer's once said: Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cheese n' toast

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Want to hear a tough toung twister? spoons

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Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

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Three people are stranded on an island. They are captured by a tribe of cannibal natives. The natives say " find 10 fruits of the same kind and bring them back" The first guy comes back with apples The natives say " shove them up your buttox without showing any sign of emotion" The firs guy gets to the second apple and then woos in pain the natives kill him The second guy comes back with blue berries he gets to the ninth berry and laughs. The natives kill him. The two guys are in heaven. The fist guy says " you could've survived why did you laugh?" the second guy replies," I saw the third guy coming back with pineapples"

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

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What is hotter than two girls making out? The Sun.

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Two 50 year old men walk into eachother on the street. one was born in a hobo shack and another was born in a mansion. what did the rich one say to the poor one? Hi, whats your name?

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Why can't Amy Winehouse drive? She is dead.

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There were three people on a plane, the plane crashed and they all died.

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What should you do if you are locked in the trunk of a car? Yell for help.

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A- Knock Knock B- Who's there? A- Soccer!

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What did the doctor say to the Jew? You have cancer.

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm in it? Biting into you apple and finding two worms in it.

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Why did John forget his homework? While driving herself home at 8:00 PM the previous evening, his mother got into a terrible automobile accident. She was rushed to the emergency room, only to find out that one of her main arteries in her right arm was cut. Death was probable for her in the next few hours. John and his father, sitting at home playing a friendly game of chess, were notified of the accident by hospital secretaries. His father rushed John with him to the hospital in his Toyota Camry. Upon arrival, they were notified that John's mother had only a few moments left to live. They ran into her room, and said their last parting words. John's were "I love you, Mom.", and her husband's were "I love you, honey." She then passed away. John began to weep, and his father put his arm around him to try to comfort him, while feeling extreme sadness as well. Around this time, back at home, his dog, Rex, ate his homework that he left on the dining room table. John and his dad then drove back home, crying their eyes out. This kind of sadness they have never experienced before. He will always remember his mom, and love her to bits. His dad, well, he was never really the same after her death. The funeral was scheduled for the next week. John will always remember his mom as being a nice, caring individual with so much love for everyone in the world. Him and his dad later picked out a nice, blue coffin that reads "You will always be missed" on the top of it. They chose it because John's mom's favorite color was blue.

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Clement: Hey love. Want to go out on a date? Patience: No. Clement: That's all right. Your agreement is not needed. *Clement ties up Patience's hands and feet, gags her and puts her in the back of his meat delivery van. He is planning to throw her into the sewers.

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What do apples and bananas have in common? They're both red (except for bananas).

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are walking down the street when they find a genie. They run away in fear because finding a genie out of nowhere is kinda freaky.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Its Matt.

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You momma's so ugly your dad left her.

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What's 9+10=? 19

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Q: How do you stop a Mexican tank? A: Ask politely.

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A man enters a bar. Two minutes later, a woman leaves a bar. What happened? A man entered a bar and a woman left. What's there to explain?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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