Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

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Why did the computer crash? Because the driver transporting the computer to his friend lost control of his vehicle.

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JEWS

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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What did the asian parent say to his kid when he got a D? -It's OK son, you will do better next time.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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What is worse than something terrible happening to you? That same thing happening to me of course... Duh...

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Whats the differance between a preist and acne? Acne dosent cum on your face untill your 12

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Yolo: Your Oppurtunity Lies Upon...... oh, wait upon starts with a u... YOLU

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why didn't little johnny show up to school on friday? little johnny died two months ago from cancer. he hasn't been to school in a year.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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what did the white guy say to the mexican? mow my lawn asshole

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how do you kill a zombie? Zombies arent real.

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What do you call a black man jumping off a bridge? Suicide.

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What is the difference between assault and aggravated assault? Aggravated assault is aggravated, whereas assault is aggravated.

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The neighbours challenged me to a water fight so I am updating Anti jokes while i let the kettle boil.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made the man who said shut up mad so he told the man to shut up.

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Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

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Joe Biden

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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