Matt Damon

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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What does an Irishman order at the bar?? A beer

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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How do you wake up Lady GAGA? A sludge hammer!

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what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

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Roses are red, violets are blue and the sun is very hot

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A man goes to a doctor to check about an itch on his testicles. Turns out it was just a rash and is promptly prescribed medication and it clears up in a week.

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ask me if i'm a tree. are you a tree? no

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eyepatch? Names.

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A boat drowns in the middle of the water. Everyone dies except for an Asian guy. Why did he live? Because he could swim.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Do you want to hear the best joke ever? Me too!

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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Did you hear the story about the divorcee who was concerned about ecology? Her husband had been hitting her. Good for her to get away from that kind of abuse.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

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What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

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What do you call a black person with a million dollars? A millionaire.

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Why did the seal get confused when a spider tried to high five him? Because spiders have eight legs.

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Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops