What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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What's worse than missing Taco Tuesday? Your whole family dying in a car crash.

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I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? Go bird hunting.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Q: What did the man say before he was stabbed? A: "What are you gonna do, stab me?"

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What do you call a black man who graduated med school? A doctor

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I threatened to throw a fridge at it

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? To get home.

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whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the Farmer had treated the Chicken and the rest of his family with great distaste, thus angering the Chicken to the point of rebellion against the Farmer with hopes of inspiring the other abused farm animals to act likewise.

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Death

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on the front porch? Matt What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a hole? Phil What do you call a man with no arms and no legs floating down the river? Bob

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What did the police say to the black man who just shot his wife? You are under arrest

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Whats gay and smells like straight girls? An envelope.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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Why is Ian a virgin? Because he watches cartoon porn

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So a black man hails a taxi...

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How do white people screw in light bulbs? They read a manual.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops