Tommy has no arms and legs. What did he get for Christmas? Cancer

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and a gay guy? They're both gay

Why did the child die? Natural causes.

Why did Susie fall off her swing? She had no arms Nock nock Who's there? Not Susie.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nancy Nancy who? Nancy.

Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because eating raw chicken is just wrong.

Todays word of the day, is "legs" lets head back to your place and spread the word....

YOLO MAH BROLO

Q: What did the prostitute say to the other prostitute? A: I have AIDS.

Why didn't the pharmacist set up his business in the jungle? Because setting up a pharmacy in the jungle is not a viable business option.

Blonde Entrepeneurs

What do you call a thirsty girl? H2Hoe

A baby boy and a baby girl are much alike when you eat them they die

if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

why was the boy so ugly, because he had downs

KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

Yo momma's so dumb, she's not smart.

don't look behind you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...