how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

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What do you call a woman who loves sex and food? A fat wh0re.

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What do you tell someone who says they are contemplating suicide, Get over it

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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Comment is abusive and has been removed.

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Dyslexic devil worshippers sell their souls to Santa

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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Why didn't the girl make it to the other side of the road? A police officer stoped her because she was j-walking.

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Why is the sky blue? Well it has something to do with The suns reflection off of all the waters on earth's surface.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic with a family of four and is ruining his life. -Tag

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Whats a dwarf running A running dwarf

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Wolf Pussy

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You want to hear a joke? Democract

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see ya

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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The doctor said he had good news and bad news. I asked for the bad news first. He said, "You have AIDS. I asked what the good news was. He said "You will only have it about a year."

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A black goes to college

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Q: How do you learn the best break dance moves? A: I don't know. You figure it out.

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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