A man comes home early from work to find that his wife is in bed with another man, startled by his presence the wife quickly utters 'it's not what it looks like", the husband however, disregards this comment and later files for a divorce

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Two penguins are sitting in a bathtub. That would never happen because penguins would not be anywhere near a bath-tub at any point in their lives, I would be more concerned wondering why a penguin is in the US and calling animal control than making up a joke about it.

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a retard lost...

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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Person One: Three bears are eating tacos, seventeen bears are making margaritas, how many bears are going to the supermarket to get overly prices expired two percent milk? Person Two: ...Who gives a shit!!!!!!!!?!?!?!?!!!? Person One: No! That is incorrect!..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................its 16

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How do you upset Muslims? Kill their leader. Whoops, already did.

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Q: What do you do when you find a black man bleeding from a bullet wound on your front porch? A: Call an ambulance! He may only have minutes to live before he bleeds to death! Hurry!

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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who farted your mother

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why was the old woman angry? fig pudding.

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Why did the cop not arrest the driver? The Driver shot him 2 minutes earlier.

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Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a lightbulb? Because they're so darn stupid!

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Q: How many Jew does it take to change a light bulb? Here is the answer: A: A lightbulb cannot be changed, it either is or isn't. Do you mean replace a burned-out bulb with a new one? Here, in this case, with design, logistics, manufacturing, marketing of just that single bulb- there are many people involved. It could be argued that we all play some small part in the process. ------ Nothing to see here, end of the joke. :)

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Why was the tomato blushing? It saw the salad dressing.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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what is the difference between pizza and a Jew? pizza is a common Italian meal and a Jew is a member of a monotheistic religion

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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Knock Knock Who's There Gary Oh hi Gary, come in

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a man walked into a bar "ouch"

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A horse walks into a bar the bar tender says hey you cant be in here you are a horse so the horse leaves.

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Who's gay and has buttsex? Dan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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