what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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Why wasn't the child swimming? It drowned

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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what do black men and vending machines have in common? neithier work and they both steal your money

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What can a bench do, that a south African man cant? Support a family. (I HOPE THAT WASN'T RACIST)

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Why'd the aborted fetus cross the road? 9/11

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What did the Leah say to the Pawneez? AWWWW YEAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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gay rights

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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How do you save someones life? Do not kill them.

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Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

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your mama so dumb her iq point is below average

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How did bob Marley quit doing Drugs?

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Q:What did the robot say to the boy? A:Nothing the robot malfunctioned and started choking the boy, despite the towns best efforts they could not release the death grip on the boys throat, after the robot was done choking the boy it exploded killing 99% of the population in a 5 mile radius.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

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Two boys are playing with a toy submarine. One isists it will work in a real test. The boy drowns and the company is sued.

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A robbery occurred at Temple University, the perpetrator is an African-American male, 5'11", wearing jeans and a black sweatshirt. Be on the look out and notify the police if seen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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