Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Penis-Pump

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What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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How do you kill a black guy With a gun

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Sorry, wrong number.

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LOL. It's East vs LA and Durant

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What did Batman say to Robin before the got into the Batmobile? - Come on Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he was depresed

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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What did the dog say to his owner? Nothing, dogs do not have mouths that are shaped for forming words. Talking would require too many complex movements of the mouth, and since a dog's brain is very small, it would not have the capacity to hold that much information.

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What's funnier than Carrot Top and Dane Cook combined? Almost anything.

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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Why did the girl ask her brother for aids? Because her room was a mess

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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