A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two women were sitting quietly.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the addict choke himself with a trash bag? His family couldn't afford a funeral and it was the quickest way to disappear.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How did the semen cross the road I put on the wrong sock this morning

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the man throw his watch out the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how do you make money? you roba bank! :)

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man, trying to be polite, asks his irritating coworker, "Did you get a haircut?" His coworker responds, "No, I got them all cut!" The man groans and shakes his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Larry stopped by today to drop of a package. The package was a bomb. So I gave the "gift" to my neighbor for her birthday. My Mom is my neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Miranda Lorenz is a WHORE!!! She has slept with three guys while in a relationship!! then when he broke up with her for cheating on him, she keyed his car!! Psycho Bitch!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

My friend is a genius! JK!......... i have no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Probably right where you left him, since animals with no appendages have no way of mobility

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats small and has four hoofs? A sow

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q. What's better than a breadmaker? A. A sandwhich.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

q. what did the fat guy get from burger king a. heart disease

thumb_up thumb_down +27

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock, Who's there? The Police. *No Answer* The police then give the S.W.A.T the signal, bust down the door, and kill 15 high profile targets issued by Liberia. The man who did not answer the door was Carlos Pedrouez, a serial killer, meth addict who has been apart of the Arizona sex slave trade for over a decade. The world can now sleep softly. The door was also red.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops