why did the chicken cross the road? to give a doctor the cure for cancer but some ass hole ran him over

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

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Knock knock Who's there? Osama Bin Laden

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had legs and knew how to walk.

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kiss me?

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What ticks like a clock and has numbers on it? A clock.

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Two robots walk into a bar, just kidding, they have Polio.

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When Life gives you lemons... Squeeze the juice right back into Life's eyes!

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A Japanese woman walks into a Korean deli, and asks the Korean man if she can buy some groceries. They are able to get past their cultural differences, and share their favorite recipes.

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No it isn't.

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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rape that shit

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School : Todays lesson, 1 + 1 = 2 Exam, find the radius of the sun

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock (pause) A: Knock knock B: (frustrated), I thought we had that damn thing fixed!!!

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There is a white man, a black guy, and an Asian in a car. It got into an accident who did it? Asian dude

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Flab

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A man walks into a bar. He hit his head so hard that he went into a coma.

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Out on the playground of a school, extremely young kids are acting as living witness to an audacious thing. They're watching a very interesting display of strength and brutality. They're observing a enactment of lofty potential and great might. What're they watching? They're regarding their principal getting promptly arrested by the federal police for possession of technically illegal weaponry including, but not only limited to what looked like to them: peculiar "fire crackers" and reloadable "candy dispensers". In the ensuing battle, their principal got shot in the arm and a random pedestrian got killed by a stray bullet. In the end, the cruel joke's on them. Guess what? They're irrepairably damaged for the rest of their life.

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i love antijokes

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Roses are red, violets are blue my name is clearance, and i have to poo

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How does a plumber cross the street? Using his legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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