Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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Your mom is SO ugly, I entered her in an ugly contest, and she came in fourth place!

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What do a a pickle and a rabbit have in common? They are both green...except the rabbit

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

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Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

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A homeless boy walks up to a woman. "I'm hungry" "Then you should eat something."

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One muffin doesn't say anything to another muffin while baking in an oven because they lack the organs necessary to attain properties of speech and thought

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Why was Ray Charles always smiling? because he was a happy guy

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this is a joke

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

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What type of ruler lies? A shatter resistant one

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? The Pilot.

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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Where did Sally go when the bomb hit her? All over. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Women"s Rights

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How do you make a chicken fly? Throw it

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What do you get when you cross corn with more corn? A devestating force that will make you live on a rowboat and perform demeaning puppet shows you will not Even enyoy!!!!

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what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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