Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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What's green and goes 100 miles an hour? a green racing car

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http://anti-joke.com/

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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How do you get a clown off a swing Hit it with an axe.

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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The WNBA.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? You haven't? Well neither has he

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a black guy and a mexican guy walking into a bar, A couple of multicultural friends grabbin' a drink.

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Why did the monkey fall off his tricycle? He got hit by a fridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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