How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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women's rights.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Rebecca Black

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What's the difference between a BMW and pile of dead babies? I don't have a BMW in my garage.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue you have hemroids

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Whats the worst part about being fat? Your fat.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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What did Lindsay Lohan wear to her birthday dinner? -An Orange jumpsuit.

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I used to be an adventurer like you. Then i took an arrow to the knee.

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What did the white man do when he got a black eye? He returned it to the crazed gentleman who sent it to him.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

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What would people call Michael Jackson if he became president? Probably President Jackson

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Barack Obama

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Why Was my mommy gone last night? -cause I ****ed her

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Why do people play video games? Because audio games are not as fun.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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