what happens when a Texan see's a black guy? he says howdy

thumb_up thumb_down +25

is mayonnaise an instrument?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Pickles

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q:Why couldn't the baby walk down the hall way? A: It had a javelin stuck in its head.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why didn't the baby cry? It was stillborn.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops