What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

roses are red, violets are violet

no u

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

Pickles

What's 5+7? Piccillo

Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 6 was racist.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

Why couldn't the boy see his sick mother? Because he was blind

Roses are bright, Violets are sad, I like sprite I'm really struggling for ideas at this point

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

I said I read te terms of service. I didnt

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

Obama enters a KKK meeting Obama: Oh sorry I thought this was the Kentucky Fried Chicken... the font was so small so... as he starts backing off scared... KKK: leader, of course Mr.President, feel free to come again anytime! Moral: Kings Knocking Ketchup is actually a nice place if you not unlike me enjoy ketchup...

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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MOAR??

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