What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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girls are a lot like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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Why did John scream when he came in to his bedroom? He stepped on a nail

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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Q- Whats The Difference Between a Jew and a TV Dinner? A- One Gets Cooked in the Oven and the other is a TV Dinner!

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What is worse

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What does wasabi spell backwards? Ibasaw

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A young Asian boy got a B on his test. He went home an showed his parents even though he was nervous of their reaction. They told him that a B was a good grade and put it on the fridge. After that he began to gradually flunk each class one by one because of his parent's inability to push him to be better. He is now homeless and an alcoholic.

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what r the two best ways to describe a guy whose eating a bannana while peeing, time conservative and a multitasker

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Your mama's so stupid she brought syrup to the quidditch world cup because she heard there would be quaffles!

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An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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Q:How many Jews can you fit in a car? A:Two in the front, two in the back, and however many will fit in the ashtray.

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What do you call two guys hanging by your window? Kurt and Rod

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Knock knock *No one was home*

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What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

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Q: What did the casual mathematician discover at the end of his vivid rainbow of dreams (Question mark- key`s screwed) A: Enough dirt to fill 3141592+ treasure chests to the brim.

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A man is cheating on his wife. His wife finds out and is instantly distressed and begins to cry.

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Here's the senario, There are 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara dessert. the question is how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? The awnser is purple because ice cream has no bones.

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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whydid the little boy drown? he can't swim

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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