What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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whats stupid and likes dumb jokes? you.

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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So there's A blonde, a brunette and a redhead at a lake. they all swim across and have a picnic at the other end.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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How many penguins does it take to cover a dog house? Purple, because the Ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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What did they farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He quickly exits as he thought it was the Polish restaurant located directly nextdoor. He then enters the Polish restaurant and orders a delicious lunch. He tips his waiter 20%.

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Stevie Wonder has put on a lot of weight since the 70's. I feel really bad for him because he can't watch what he eats.

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I have no ideas.

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two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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How do you get a giraffe in a fridge? Open the Door, put the giraffe in, close the door How do you get an elephant in a fridge Open the door, take the giraffe out, put the elephant in, close the door There is an animal meeting, one animal doesn't show up. Which animal didn't come? The Elephant, it's still in the fridge You come across a crocodile infested river, how do you get across? You swim across, the crocodiles are at the meeting, Weren't you listening?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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