What is the way to a woman's heart? Through her chest cavity.

how do you spell ugly ? U G L Y.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

I once ate at a restaurant where the food was so bad that the chef's name was Earl.

Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

You know what's sad about the Special Olympics? Even of you win, your still retarded.

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

Why did the Jew ask for a napkin? something funny about the holocaust

Knock, knock. Come in!

How did the Jews get out of Germany? They didn't..

penis

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

what's worse then droping your phone. 9/11 having sex with the holocaust

A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots his virgin

Rock mattress.

your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

Why did tigger look in the toilet? Because he dropped his phone fell in.

What do you call a white man in the NBA? A really good basketball player

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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