What did the teacher tell the failing student? You will most likely be kicked out of our school and have no further education and be subjected to a low-level career.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A blonde walks into an electronics store. She asks the clerk how much a television costs. He said that they don't serve blondes. The blonde files a lawsuit and is victorious by ruling of descrimination.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

thumb_up thumb_down +29

yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

thumb_up thumb_down +27

No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Your mother is so fat that her doctor recommended that she exercise regularly and eat foods with nutritional value.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the airplane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops