Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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cms.......?????

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Goofy sold Pluto into slavery in exchange for the power of human speech.

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Jacob Black and Edward Cullen show up at your house. You tell your best girl friend and she has you admitted to a psych ward because everyone knows they are fictional characters!

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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Johnson stops eating

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So there is 10 Nazis and a monkey the rest doesn't matter but i farted...

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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What do you call a Mexican man in prison? A prison officer.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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