GUYS! I GOT AN A IN MY PIANO EXAM!!!!!

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What time did the tennis start? Tennish

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Why did Jill fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't Jill get up? She had no legs. Why didn't anyone help Jill up? She had no friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To kill a hooker and get his money back.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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haha.

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What did mr. Mackey say to his class. It's easy mkay

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

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There's no "i" in tim.

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What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

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How many nails does it take to build a house? As many as it takes to get the job done.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Patrick is gay

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops