I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

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Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

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Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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Women's sports.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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A bar walks into your mother.

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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