How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call three black men in a car? One driver, and two passengers.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the cab driver say to the duck who wanted a ride in the cab? Get out of the cab.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Roses are red. Violets are red. Everything is red. I soaked it in the blood of small children.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Women's sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a Mexican who gets shot on a golf course? A tragic incident.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's the difference between video games and a naked chick? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops