What's worse then a dead baby? a dead baby in a blender

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Chuck Norris. Alright come in.

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How do you escape a vicious tiger? You cleverly create a distraction so the tiger's focus is not on you. Then, you quickly run away because the tiger doesn't know you are leaving.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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I JUST HAD SEEX! How blantant, eh?

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what do you do if you wake up at midnight and your tv is floating? -call the police because you caught a burgler in the act of stealing your tv

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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Busted? What the hell is going on?

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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What does spongebob do to get high. Nothing, spongebob doesnt exsist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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How do you put an elephant in the refrigerator? Open the door and let him in. How do you put a giraffe in the refrigerator? Open the door and let the elephant out then give the giraffe a reasonable amount of time to enter.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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When my Xbox died, my girlfriend said: "Finally, you can treat me the same way you treated that thing!" So I tapped her so hard that she died

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Which one is hardest?

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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The lemons on the tree are ripe. They will be picked.

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops