Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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no u

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a black eye.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Mitt Romney for president.

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Why cant penguins fly? because they cant

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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Pickles

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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I'm Jewish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Let Me In. Let Me In Who? Let Me In or I Will Kill You Tomorrow!

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Two women were sitting together, quietly.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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