What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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Women's Rights

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What walks on four legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and one in the evening? A dog that plays in traffic all day.

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Will my son live, doctor? No because you don't have a son and I am not a doctor

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What's the difference between black people and dog shit? One of them eventually turns white and stops smelling.

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Dr. Dick Howard Long visits a friend in England. Arriving at his friend's house, he knocked at the door. A butler then lets him in and asks, "Sir, would you like to wait while the Master bathes?" The doctor then replies, "Sure thing, I'll wait until he's done."

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why cant the black man vote? because hes not 18 yet.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is too sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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Why are we posting shit jokes on here? Because we can't drink!

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An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

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What's white and can't climb a tree? A refridgerator What's white heavy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A polar bear

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Guess what's funny? People voting for their own Anti joke.

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The Economy

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Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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