Why are blonds so stupid? Because our society is insecure and we need a common denominator to pick on, so we can feel more comfortable with our mediocre lives.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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Some dude and his son are driving to school. They get into a car accident so the have to go the the hospital. But when the doctor comes in, the doctor says "I can't oporate on this boy! He's my son!" Who's the doctor? His Mom.

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Whats the difference between christians and nazis? one suppressed human rights and caused millions of deaths. the others were responsible for the holocaust.

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What does a cupcake get for Christmas? A fat kid.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Yo mama is so fat that: it is ruining her self esteem and she worries about her health.

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what did the clinically depressed man last post on twitter? "Oh cruel world, i finally lost all faith in the good of humanity. I am unloved and irrelevant to all. I know nobody will miss me, but goodbye anyway. #suicide " nobody followed him and saw the post and he died alone with nobody at his funeral.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

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There's no "i" in tim.

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The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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Q: how many Pollocks does it take to paint a house? A: 100. 99 to spin the house and 1 to hold the paint brush

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your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Your mom is so ugly that she decided to work as a prostitute and she died a virgin.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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